Dating-Event-Level Single
I’ve always shied away from dating events because I didn’t want to believe I’d reached dating-event-level single. In hindsight, this fear is ridiculous; it’s not like the apps have been working for me anyway. Still, there’s a stigma against dating events that I used to buy into, as if being in attendance means you’ve reached desperation territory. My Met Through Friends experience totally changed my perspective.
Met Through Friends is a dating event series where attendees bring plus ones they’d vouch for. The premise is simple: everyone says they want to meet someone through friends, so why not create events that help make that happen? The vibes are curiosity, openness, and letting connections unfold naturally, which is a welcome break from Hinge dates where efficiency reigns supreme and there’s an assumed trajectory for the relationship before you’ve even had your first drink.
Bright eyed and bushy tailed, I recruited my brother’s college roommate Matt to be my plus one, and got ready for what felt like (dare I say) an exciting night of dating.
Met Through Friends, Boston
The event was held at Lou’s, a trendy cocktail bar in Harvard Square. When we walked in, @elle_the_wingwoman, the founder of Met Through Friends and a certified dating coach, immediately made us feel welcome. Matt and I grabbed drinks and scanned the attendees while waiting for the evening to kick off.
There were fifteen tables scattered around the room. The girls stayed seated, while the boys rotated every six minutes. Very quickly, I spotted a familiar face: a guy I recognized from Hinge. We’d orbited each other online and in real life for years without ever crossing the talking barrier, until that night.
By the end of the mini-dates, I’d identified three potential romantic prospects, made a couple of new friends, and even gained a Substack subscriber. After months of Hinge drought, this evening reminded me how fun it can be to have good conversations with strangers.
When cocktail hour rolled around, some of the attendees dipped, including two of my so-called prospects. I felt a brief twinge of disappointment. But that’s life in the IRL dating lane: rejection happens head-on and in real time, without the buffer of a phone screen. That pushed me to focus on prospect #3, who woo-ed me with easy conversation and indie charm, until he ghosted me a few days later. I don’t blame Met Through Friends though; they can’t be held responsible for modern dating’s bad habits.
Some Thoughts from the Field, For What It’s Worth
Exchanging numbers felt awkward
I’ve written before about how we've lost the ability to mingle1, and that showed up at this event. With just six minutes per mini-date, there wasn’t an obvious or natural moment to exchange contact info. Matt told me afterward that he was interested in a couple of girls but chickened out of asking for their numbers. I also wish I’d found a way to give my number to prospects #1 and #2.
This feels fixable with a little handholding:
Have attendees prepare number cards before the mini-dates begin and explicitly encourage exchange
Give a one minute ‘warning’ before each mini-date ends, so people feel prompted to pivot the conversation
Use a ‘tick’ system where organizers exchange numbers post-event if interest is mutual
As much as I’d love for all of this to be organic, even the best dating events need to cater to a population that struggles with converting interest into follow through. A little extra structure feels not only acceptable, but necessary, IMO.
All the men were the plus one’s
Meaning: they were invited by their female friends to join. To me, this signals a few things:
First, Elle is a genius. Outsourcing vetting to cool female friends is a brilliant way to get quality men to show up.
Second, there’s something structural going on with men right now. Many won’t opt into dating events on their own volition, even when they say they want connection. I think it’s because dating events require a lot of vulnerability: a public admission that you’re looking for a partner, paired with the possibility of leaving empty handed. That kind of exposure can feel intimidating, so the buffer of a friend can help soften the potential blow.
We need to reframe the narrative around dating events altogether
When I told my friends about Met Through Friends, their first reaction was: were the guys super lame? FYI they weren’t, but that automatic cynicism is common, and it’s part of the problem. I found myself caveating well it’s for the blog (which is only half true), as if I needed an excuse to show up.
If we were all more accepting and enthusiastic about looking for connection in this way, dating events might feel less desperate and more like a socially encouraged way to meet someone cool. Ultimately, this reframe feels like a core JBTD if we want to make dating analog again.
Final Verdict: Worth It
If you’re deep in the trenches of Hinge and still looking for your person, a Met Through Friends event is absolutely worth attending. They can’t guarantee a match, but they can bring some humanity back to dating. I’m really glad I went.
–Cait xo
Thank you so much for the kind words! We loved having you!
Cait omg so excited to see your writing on here !! Will read it when I am back home xxxxx